The Joke's On Us

If you don't have days where you contemplate throwing yourself off a bridge or slitting your wrists and poetically bleeding out next to a pretty body of water, you're a goddamned liar. The desire to chuck it all in and check out is as universally human as the inherent desire to go on living anyway - go figure. The joke's on us.

Yesterday was one of those days for me. As a newly-sober Renton says in Trainspotting, 'You feel so fucking low, you'll want to fucking top yourself.' And even before I had the responsibilities I do today - four little dogs and a best friend who's like my gay husband, a darling Goddaughter and a shitload of stuff to say - I always came back to this: 'yeah, but if I die, I don't get to hear any of the new music that will come out, or see any of the movies, or feel the warmth of the sun on my shoulders, or see one more sunset.' And somehow, on those blessedly rare but dark days, that is enough to keep me going.